When someone dies from suicide, family and friends are always left with more questions than answers. Why did my loved one do this? How did I miss the signs? What could I have done to prevent this? How did he get to feel so desperate? Families and friends commonly experience feelings of guilt, regret, anger, despair, grief, and tremendous sorrow that can be difficult to resolve. And in the wake of such a tragedy, family members of a person who dies by suicide can feel incredibly isolated.
It is important to recognize this burden that families and friends feel and to offer support in various ways. The grief process can last for months or years, and is often more intense around birthdays, anniversaries of the loved one’s death or other significant dates. It is especially important to understand that suicide survivors have a significantly higher risk of attempting suicide themselves. Other risk factors include having untreated mental illness (such as Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia, etc.), abuse of or dependence on alcohol or other drugs, trauma, and having a recent significant loss of an important person or role.
While not everyone who dies by suicide exhibits outward behavior that would indicate they are in trouble, there are some signs that are commonly associated with suicidal thinking. These include a lack of interest in usual activities, giving away possessions that were important to the person, changes in sleep patterns, preoccupation with death (which may be evidenced by verbal statements or social media posts), getting one’s affairs in order, reckless behavior, increased use of alcohol or drugs and feeling hopeless or trapped, to name a few.
Feeling depressed and suicidal is not a normal human condition. It is a product of changes in brain chemistry and neuro-pathways that result in the perception that suicide will provide relief from suffering. That perception can be difficult to change because it feels rewarding to someone who is very depressed. Professional help, which may include medications to correct the levels of neurotransmitters in the brain, may be required to reduce these feelings and alleviate suffering. And it is important to know that HELP IS AVAILABLE!
If you believe someone may be at risk, ask him or her directly if they are thinking of hurting himself or herself, and offer support in getting professional help. There are many organizations that exist to provide guidance for those who are feeling suicidal or are trying to cope with the suicide death of a loved one, some of which are listed below.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
- American Association of Suicidology
- The Connect Program
- National Alliance on Mental Illness
- National Alliance for Suicide Prevention
- Active Minds
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